Laugh at me

"Laugh at me. I am cursed to that." swore the Joker as he stepped for the nth time in the gladiatorial arena of Bombay circus which had moved in from Chennai to Pune for its latest show. They had had an awesome run till now, with belly dancers dominating a large part of it. Truly, Glamour sells more than anything else. The joker sommersaulted into the arena as his fellow jokers mimicked various animals. Next was the cycling round, so they cycled around and around and now it was time for him to fall down. thud!!! he fell and the applause started. then he fell again as his cycle rolled over and this time the applause was louder. The show carried on for some more time, with some more of their histrionics. It finally ended. And the joker stepped back to dress down back to himself. He always mused over the stark irony he witnessed for every show, " people laughed each time when he fell or got hit". He had done it again, for he wanted to fill his tummy, his family's tummies too, for he needed those notes which had the imprints of the father of his nation, although Mr.Gandhi never lived on money. Thus, consoling himself, he alighted to get his supper. It was late than usual for him. Just as he passed the street, he saw her, she was crying out there, right at the traffic signal on crossroads. She was sobbing inconsolably. Now, what was he supposed to do? he would have passed by noticing nothing, but, not that day. He, went to her, unknowing to himself. It was as though she had this great gravitational power towards him. "Excuse me, You don't have to cry -"for here is Jambhu the Joker. ha ha ha he he he ha ha" And he popped into one of his poses as he howled out, and he danced, jumped like a monkey, cycled with an imaginary cycle, limped and fell down as though dead. And she laughed, laughed and laughed. He felt as though he had never before. He had never felt happier. He danced and danced again. "Why are u doing this? who r u? where do u live?" She asked stopping him. "I am Jambhu the Joker of Bombay circus. We have been performing for quite some time near the bus stand. U watch circus." "Thank u very much, if not for you, i dunno wat wud have happened today." she replied. "What happened?" The Joker enquired. "It's ok now. I just happened to love someone who did not deserve that. It's hard, very hard". "Oh, it's ok. U'll definitely find someone better" he consoled" till then, never feel bad, for Jambhu's there till then." And she laughed again and they parted. He had never felt like this ever before. It was as though a thunderbolt had struck his heart and revealed out some emotions he thought he never felt. That smile of her's, it kept ringing again in his heart. He hummed as he reached back to his bed, inconizant of the meal he had not had. They met again and again for the next few weeks. He would make her laugh whenever she felt down. It was as though these days would never end, they were here for a lifetime. But, no, Life dinnt seem as merciful as it had seemed, for he had to go back , this time to Bangalore, his manager declared. He felt something cringing near his heart as he heard the news. His throat choked, as he told the news to her. "it's ok, we can be in contact thru phone. I'll call u, Ok..." She assured. "it's not that. I just.... actually, I.... It's so strange... U r so nice... I want to..." he struggled and struggled to open his heart while he was pulled back to the truck. She could never understand what he wanted to say. He was tucked away in the truck and carried away to Bangalore city. New city, new faces stared at him as he remained engrossed in the face that haunted him each second now. He had seen this in movies, the hero used to say-" i can neither sleep, nor eat. I can't live without her." the dialogues had seemed so non-sense then, only to become his reality today. He pulled himself to the phone booth unable to chain his emotions anymore. He dialled the number he had written all over his memory. he seemed to come back to life as his ears sensed that voice of her's. He heard and heard and said not a word. She said and said of her woes, her parents forcing her to marry, the customs she had to go through and how she felt. He said nothing of what he thought. He dare not say what he felt. He ended the phone call consoling her back to sleep. He came back to his den to see if he had something to eat. No!!! the funds had dried up to fetch even a day's meal. Whatever was left of morning had to be snatched and fought for. Day's slipped through as lesser people laughed at his histrionics. People seemed to have better recreational ways. After all India was shining and software jobs were seemingly pumping money into people's pockets. So why stay held in circus, when u had a culture, the US culture, with disco's, pubs, multiplexes to emulate. All this while, her smile stayed on with him. He would call again and again and hear her, forgetting what he had to say. And one fine day he was asked to pack off. He and raju landed on streets of Bangalore city. And that day he called her again to tell her of his predicament "Hi Jambhu, u know something, gr8 news at last. It's my ..... on 29th..... be there. will u... hello.. hello" as the phone crackled and finally bowed out. He could understand nothing. He tried calling her again a couple of times. he could not get through although. So, he made way for the other angry customers who had queued up behind him. He had no more money either to call her. He and raju walked and walked until they fainted down that night in the middle of the road. When they woke up, they saw Trumpets, Drums and flutes lying all around them. They woke up with a start as they stared at things around them. The door opened and Shyam entered. "Who are u? why were u lying in the road?" he asked helping them with a cup of milk. "We have no home, we will die soon" Raju wailed as he fell on Shyam's knees Pulling Jambhu also along. "It's ok, let me see what can be done. don't worry. we are a band group and we play for marriages." Shyam said as he helped raju to his feet. "We will do anything. We worked as jokers in Bombay circus. Probably we can do shows for your marriages. Just give us one chance." Raju pleaded. "Hmmmm.... Ok that's a good idea. I'll ask my friends. till then freshen yourself and your friend." "Thank god, we are saved, Jambhu" Raju Avered as Jambhu nodded still engrossed in her. 'Come let's prepare for something to show these guys.This is our only chance. Ok." So they started to practice after their breakfast. Shyam came with his friends at 1 o'clock. they were impressed at the jokers' perfomance. They asked the jokers to tune it to a marriage scene, probably mock a movie scene or something. Raju was delighted, for they had found a piece of meal at the end of the tunnel. So they performed and performed and people laughed and laughed. They were famous now. The next show was at Raja MeYammah hall right in the center of the city and this was a big one. Lot's of money for this. They had to be at their best today, the 29th of April. So they practised and practised till they were dog tired. The D-day arrivedsoon, Raju and Jambhu were all set. They arrived at the hall early to make appropriate arrangements for this was a big test. As they entered, Jambhu's eyes were drawn towards the bride's name. He had heard it so many times somewhere close to his heart, but, then so many people had the same names, he consoled himslef. Raju and Jambhu dressed up soon for they had to rehearse once before the final show. People started flowing in and soon the show would begin. Both of them stared at the Stage as the bridegroom entered the mandap. The pooja began with the priest chanting incomprehensible matras. The bride was called. She came in all dressed up, but, her face was not to be seen, but, she was all decked in jewels. She was their only child, probably. It could not be grander, Jambhu thought as he rehearsed his steps.The pooja went on for another 2 hours and finally ended with bridegroom tying the knots. It ended and now it was time for Jambhu and Raju to start. As they entered, Jambhu's eyes fell on something he could not take his gaze away from. It was her, all decked in the bride's dress. She was happy, she was laughing, the same way she had laughed, he saw her the first day. She looked so beautiful, so beautiful he could not describe in words. Jambhu stood there dumb-struck. It was as though he had turned into a pillar. He could not move anymore. Tears welled up in his eyes as She started laughing catching the first glimpse of the joker's attires. "Come Jambhu, What the hell are u doing, Remember the sommersault u have to start off with. C'mon do it idiot." Raju reprimanded,, as Jambhu stared back as though his soul had disppeared in thin air. he had no grasp of what was happening around him, but, he had to do his job, why? for his tummy? so He sommersaulted into the stage sobbing thinking "Laugh at me. I am cursed to that."